All That Fuss About Being A Good Listener
You are just the garbage can for those who can’t stop talking
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What is this thing about listening? Why do I really need to pay attention to what the other person is saying and trying to convey to me? What’s in it for me?
“As leaders and positive difference-makers, one of our biggest challenges, we must turn into an opportunity is to get individuals to listen and pay attention”, says Coach George Raveling.
You know those conversations that just suck? The conversation partner is only interested in unloading his garbage on you, sucking up your time and wasting your energy. That’s how it feels.
A one-way street in which your role is to replace the wall at the end of the street, so it doesn’t look so stupid for the other party to talk to a wall. These are the situations where you want to remove yourself from the conversation, with kindness and determination, just as you would remove a tick from your skin, carefully twisting it and slowly pulling out, without offending anybody.
Pretending And Using The Down Time
Here is an idea what to do instead. Perhaps you are one of those friendly listeners who think that you get more out of your attention span (which is limited, to begin with) and save time by dividing your attention?
Here is it how it goes: Giving half of your attention to the conversation partner (makes you look good) and the other half you throw at the to-do list for today or the arguments for the next conversation partner in your busy schedule.
What many “listeners” actually do is already preparing their reply without really listening to what you have to say.
“Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply”, says Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
You don’t want to be one of those.
Listening Is Exhausting
We all listen to some degree, but we need to listen with attention. That requires time and the willingness to step into an uncomfortable zone.
