Here Is One Trigger Why You Get Stressed: When Your Brain Says Yes And Your Gut Says No

Claudia Brose
6 min readJul 12

How you can cut out this one stressor in your life by saying No more often

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Stressed out — because of saying Yes if you actually mean No

You say yes, but deep inside you mean No. You say No, but deep inside you mean Yes.

You are not aligned, your brain and your gut disagree, and your mouth and your heart do speak not the same.

The rational, educated, polite version of you says Yes to the dinner invitation, the extra work project, the second piece of cake, or to helping paint your friend’s house.

The caring, conscious, protective version of you says No because you are aware of your priorities, of how to spend your time and care for your well-being so you can show up with energy and good spirits for others and yourself.

Letting the rational and polite version guide you, ignoring your values and principles — that’s when you get all stressed out.

Saying Yess Can Be Stress

To say Yes to something you are not standing behind is stressful.

A person or group who asks or requests something from you that you feel uncomfortable to do, turn into stressors in that moment. A stressor is a situation or event that causes us to feel stressed.

I remember so many times where I agreed to go out for that coffee chat, to gather that information I got asked for, or to attend a certain meeting and I was not at all on the ball and did the whole thing only half-heartedly.

My stress response from saying Yes but feeling No was (and you might relate to those feelings)

  • being annoyed about myself
  • feeling like wasting my time
  • being in a bad mood

That didn’t help me, and it didn’t help the other person or the situation.

Because in such a state, no one is a good problem solver, helper, or supporter. It often leads to superficial or careless results.

How can stress responses look like in situations where you said Yes but you rather wanted to have said No…

Claudia Brose

Writer, Event-Creator, Marketing Professional turned Rebel against a rushed world | Japan mad | Cyclist | Get my Newsletter Un-Rush