How can you tell whether giving attention is a calculated or an honest behavior?
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The short answer is: when a manager or leader takes his time for a team member and is curious.
An empathetic answer could be: when a leader manages to evoke positive emotions and the imagination of his team members. And they feel being in the right place, loving what they do and wanting to stick around with this very work and this very leader.
If someone manages to arouse these emotions … then it is very likely based on honest and not faked “giving attention”.
It is the small things that reveal if one just pretends or means it.
Does the person make an effort:
- to truly listen
- to ask great questions
- to include everybody in idea developing processes etc
- to trust
Listen
To make the effort to be attentive, e.g. to really listen to the other person, to care, to reflect a problem, situation or task requires to take time. Which everybody claims not to have. If somebody takes the time that is necessary to really listen that might show that he pays attention for real and not faking it.
Include
Does the leader or manager involve all the employees in the development process of ideas? Does she pay attention to her people, regardless of their position? Do they take their time and are curious to learn about different perspectives and experiences and include them in the decision-making process?
Great questions
Asking great questions is an “art” in coaching and leadership. It takes courage to ask really good questions instead of imposing advice, answers or solutions.
It shows how curious someone is when they ask good questions and truly listen to the answers.
This gives the other person in the conversation the opportunity to find their own way, to tap into their inner wisdom, to learn from their mistakes and to create their own ideas and insights.
Trust
Does the manager trust his team members sufficiently to have them decide on their schedule, timings, procedures and collaborative work? Does the leader pay attention to his people to recognize their potential, strength and weaknesses and discern their attitudes, mindset and level of engagement?
We give input and information, and respectively gain the trust of customers.
We give our employees freedom and trust and receive loyalty, ideas and commitment.
All by truly paying attention to the other.
CONCLUSION
When you pay attention to the other (your colleague, your boss, your friend, your staff member, ….) do you just pretend or do you mean it?
You give (first, with honesty) and you will get back (at some point, with honesty).
